Retraining People How to Treat Me...

In the past I had a terrible, awful, dreadful, despicable habit of thinking people cared about me who really didn’t give AF about me. In 2023 I intentionally ended a relationship with a “friend” when it was revealed that person did not love, regard, or have good intentions for me. The revelation hurt me deeply.

Before I discovered who this person really was, I had been praying incessantly for wisdom and peace- not about this person or any one thing in particular- just wisdom and peace in general. I learned these are two very dangerous gifts for which to pray. I’m grateful but also paid a heavy price for repeatedly pleading for these gifts. To get to peace I’ve gone through hell. To gain wisdom I’ve been hurt like never before by the knowledge and revelations that have come to light- not just about others in my life, but about myself as well. I was the cause of so much of my own suffering.

Intentionally severing that “friendship” last year caused a ripple effect as I experienced some unintentional loss connected to ending that relationship. I first started noticing the pull back of a mutual friend, the difference in communication, ignoring any group text I was a part of, and the short answers to text or no response at all. I realized this person had made her decision and this connection was being severed as well. This time though, I wasn’t hurt. It was all good and I was totally here for it, if that was how she felt. Wisdom is such a burden, but it is also such a gift. Because I know I’ve shown up for this person time and time again and have been a great friend, I was completely at peace with her decision. I understand that any relationship that gets severed in this process is a gift, not a loss.

I recognize that right now I am in a pruning season. God is cutting off every weak limb, unstable branch and loose leaf that is not truly attached to me and can easily fall away. When pruning takes place it doesn’t take much to separate the weak connections. On the other hand, the strong branches that can’t be easily broken and the roots that give support will remain stable and unshaken. They do not just easily fall away during pruning.

Right now, I am retraining people how to treat me. This starts with me treating myself well, putting myself first, and creating healthy boundaries. As shown by my results I am one, doing a good job, and two, there will be those who simply don’t like this change. I don’t care and I’m completely ok with that reality. Any person that has an issue with me doing what’s needed for me to make my life better and to empower and encourage myself to be a stronger better version of Kia, can go with God, be blessed, and have a good life. Or kick rocks, whichever they prefer. No true friend would take issue with me doing what I need to do for myself when that individual would certainly do the same.

So, to Kia, you are kind and caring. Right now, focus only on you and building the powerful version of yourself that God has shown you. Remember every departure is a gift.  You meant nothing to them, and God has freed you from the shackles of blind loyalty and fake love. Don’t try to force another relationship EVER again in life. Be at peace with every separation and guard your heart with the wisdom you’ve been gifted.

God has set you free, so be free...